Have you ever wanted something so bad?
by wicked-women
Summary: Hermione looks back on her relationship with Harry.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related indicia belong to J.K Rowling. The song is 'Come what may' from Moulin Rouge. I do NOT own it.

(A/N: I wrote this because I was bored and got a sudden burst of inspiration. I hope you enjoy it! And if it sux well, blame it on the fact that this is my first songfic.)

~*~Come What May~*~ 

Have you ever wanted something so bad you can almost taste it? 

Have you ever longed for something so much it hurt? 

Have you ever lost that thing that meant the world to you? 

Did you get over all the pain? 

If you did get over the pain… kudos to you, for I never will get over my loss, and I know that.

God I miss you Harry… 

It all started back in my seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry, I of course was Head Girl, and Harry well he made Head Boy. Harry and I were sitting around one of the tables in the Common Room, our books spread across the table studying for our N.E.W.T.S. that were coming up in the next week. Ron, well, he was off snogging with Lavender. God forbid either of them studies at all.

_Never knew I could feel like this_

_Like I've never seen the sky before_

_Want to vanish inside your kiss_

_Every day I love you more and more_

Harry kept shooting glances at me and as our eyes would meet, he'd turn away. I felt my pulse quicken, he had no idea what kind of effect he had on me.

It was quite sad really, I mean, we had been friends for nearly eight years, and we both had never had a serious relationship. Every one was afraid to break up the famous 'Trio', or as we were more commonly known, 'The Dream Team'. Well, everyone except Lav was afraid, but of course she knew about my 'feelings' for Harry so she had no problem trying to get us alone together.

_Listen to my heart can you hear it sing?_

_Telling me to give you everything_

_Seasons may change winter to spring_

_But I love you until the end of time_

We had vowed always to be there for each other. No matter what, and now you aren't here Harry and it hurts. I know you told me "Come what may," but I couldn't take it, I needed you not a friendly promise. I wanted you.

Our gazes locked for the umpteenth time that night. And Harry stood up suddenly.

"Is something the matter, Harry?" I inquired.

"Come for a walk with me," he said.

"Harry, we have to study. And it's after curfew." I noted with interest the slightly sad expression on Harry's countenance. 

"Alright, I'll go by myself. If I study anymore I swear I'll blow up!" Harry turned away from me.

"Harry wait! I'll go with you. Let's just…let's just pick up our books and things, k?" 

"Alright 'Mione."

He's the only one who I let call me 'Mione. I liked it only when he said it. It sounded as though it rolled off his tongue like candy. 

So we went out to the grounds, after curfew, in the dark, together. To anyone who had seen us go out, they probably had a few nasty little thoughts running through their heads. Well, it's not like they were completely wrong.

Harry and I went to our favourite meeting place. The rock on the hill over looking the lake and the castle was it. It was so beautiful that night. The stars were in their full glory and the moon was nearly full. I sighed contentedly.

Harry sat down and beckoned me to sit next to him. So I did. We just sat there, taking in the serenity and beauty of the night. I loved sitting there with him it was so…soothing.

He took my hand in his and I looked up at him. Our eyes locked again. 

"You know I'll always be here for you right?" he asked.

"Yes, Harry. And I will always be here for you. You know that." I chuckled a bit.

"'Mione, what ever happens, you can count on me. Come what may," Harry looked at our hands.

"You keep saying that Harry. It's as if you don't believe it. Harry is something the matter? You know you can tell me." I looked deep into his eyes, trying to figure out what was the matter with him. He seemed so…distant.

_Come what may_

_Come what may_

_I will love you until my dying day_

His eyes seemed to burn with something that I had never seen before and before I knew it his lips were pressed to mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I kissed him back.

My breath was coming in short spurts now and my pulse was racing. I had never felt anything like it. You know how people say that if you kiss the right person you feel fireworks inside? Well I sure as hell had one big show of fireworks locked up inside me.

When we broke apart I opened my eyes and looked at him. I realized what it was that I saw in his eyes, it was love. He loved me, and I loved him.

"'Mione, I love you."

"Oh Harry, I love you too!" I cried as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again. He seemed surprised, but only for a moment, as we seemed to melt into one another.

The kiss deepened as he swept the tip of his tongue across my bottom lip. He was begging for entrance. I had wanted this kiss from him for so long. Almost since before I met him. When I read about him in all the books before starting Hogwarts I had from silly little fantasies about him. Not exactly what a ten year old should be thinking about.

_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_

_Suddenly it moves with such a perfect graced_

_Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste_

_It all revolves around you_

It seemed as though the world had stopped spinning and that Harry and I were the only two people on it. I just wanted to be with him. I had never wanted, no needed anything more in my entire life. Apparently he wanted or rather needed me as well.

I have absolutely no idea how we made it back to the Common Room that night. Between not being able to stop snogging to almost being caught by Filch we made it back to the Common Room.

We snogged all the way up the stairs into the Head Girl Dormitories. I wonder how many people we woke up with our constant falling down and running into doors in the process? It doesn't matter anymore though.

_And there's no mountain too high_

_No river too wide_

_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side_

When we reached my room we finally broke our kiss. Not for long though.

Harry's lips soon recaptured mine as I unlatched his billowing Hogwarts robes. My hands continuously roamed his shoulders. I wanted to touch him without the stupid jumper and dress shirt, oh and not to mention that retched tie. I tugged his jumper over his head, breaking the kiss for barely an instant. Soon the tie was flung in one direction and the shirt in another. 

My hands roved his very well built physique. Damn, he was definitely gifted in the muscle department. 

It wasn't long and I was fumbling with his belt buckle. Retched bloody things, there should be a law against them being hard to undo. 

The next thing I knew, my own robes had been discarded and my jumper was being tugged over my own head. I felt Harry's hands working one the buttons of my shirt and I decided to help him. My agile hands had that ruddy thing off in seconds flat.

Harry reached around and unsnapped the clasp of my bra. He slid the straps down my arms and as it hit the floor he bought a hand up to cradle one of my breasts. 

I continued to deprive him of his clothed until he was standing in only his skivvies and he stripped me down to my knickers. He broke the kiss and my eyes fluttered open.

"Are you sure 'Mione?" he asked me.

All I could do was nod and kiss him again.

We worked our way to my bed and collapsed with him on top of me.

We scooted into the center of the Queen-sized bed and he began to kiss down my neck. 

I gasped and moaned at the same time as he reached the bit of skin between my neck and collarbone.

I wanted him so bad. But he wanted to torture me first. He kept working downward. Finally reaching my breasts. He took the hard tips of the left one into his mouth as he rubbed circles around the right. God he felt good. This felt so…right.

Soon he changed to the other breast. He seemed to be growing more impatient as well as he spent half as much time on the right than the left. He moved downward once more until he reached my knickers. 

He pulled them down with his teeth. Once they were down I sat up and tugged on his boxers. He was already hard and erect. I wondered how many girls had seen this before, I mean, he was not only gifted in intellect, Quidditch, physique, and kindness, but he was well, HUGE! 

Sensing my brief moment of wonder he looked me straight in the eye. He always knew what I was thinking and it sometimes scared the hell out of me.

"'Mione, I've never done this before." He looked a bit apprehensive.

"Neither have I Harry. Well just have to learn together." I smiled at him and he kissed me again.

_Storm clouds may gather_

_And stars may collide_

_But I love you (I love you) until (until) the end of time_

I wanted him now so bad it hurt. He positioned himself over my opening and smiled at me. He started in slowly until he reached a barrier. 

I knew that it was only my hymen and that breaking through it was going to hurt, a lot, but I wanted all of him in me. After all, the pain would subside.

Harry seemed a bit lost as to what to do just then so I thrust my hips upwards. I felt the pain wash over me and I bit my bottom lip so I wouldn't scream. I tear formed in the corner of my eye and Harry kissed it away. 

"Are you ok?" he asked me. "We could stop if I'm hurting you."

"Harry I'm fine. That's normal for a girl during her first time. It doesn't hurt any more. But if you don't start moving soon, I'm liable to explode."

Harry flashed me a devilish grin and thrust into me completely. God, he was so fulfilling. It felt like we were made for each other. It was only he and I in the world. He began to pull out and thrust back into me. In no time at all we had a rhythm worked out, in which I met his thrusts by bucking my hips.

I began to feel a bit strange, but in a very good way, then my release washed over me, I screamed out in ecstasy, and Harry followed right after. I could feel my muscles milking him. 

Harry pulled out of me and lay down next to me. I turned on my side and kissed him. 

"I love you so much." Harry kissed me again.

"I love you too," I said and we fell asleep.

_Come what may_

_Come what may_

_I will love you until my dieing day_

Harry and I awoke the next morning, wrapped in each other's arms. When my eyes fluttered open I was met with the most beautiful set of green eyes there are. Harry smiled at me and kissed my nose.

"Good morning beautiful!" Harry said.

"Good morning sexy," I told him back, which earned me a kiss.

"How do you feel?"

"I've never slept so well in my entire life."

"Me either 'Mione, me either."

"Care to give it another go before breakfast?" I asked seductively.

"Come here!" said Harry as he mounted me. 

'Thank God for morning erections' was all that was going through my mind as he entered me.

My now we were almost pros. As bliss once again washed over me and I milked Harry dry, I sighed in happiness.

Harry kissed both of my eyelids and my nose and then my mouth before he pulled out. I felt a pang of emptiness without him.

_Oh, come what may_

_Come what may_

_I will love you (Oh, I will love you)_

_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_

We got out of bed and dressed, Harry had quite the time trying to find all of his clothes. He found his boxers in the blankets at the foot of the bed and his tie had landed in the fish bowl. It was quite the sight to see Harry pull his sopping wet tie from the fish bowl.

I mumbled a spell and his tie was instantly dry. We dressed and crept down the stairs to the Common Room. Only one person was in there and it was Ron.

'Crap' I thought. 'Could he pick any worse day to wake up early?'

Ron must have heard us because he turned his head our way.

"Did you two finally bed each other? All of us thought it would never happen!" Ron seemed very happy about the fact that Harry and I had made love.

"Finally?" I inquired.

"Yes, finally! We started making bets two years ago on you two."

"You what?!" Harry was shocked that the Gryffindor boys would stoop so low.

"Oh and Harry, mate, it wasn't only the Gryffindor boys. Actually I think it was a school wide effort and if I'm not mistaken Draco Malfoy has won the bet." Ron had a grin plastered on his face so wide it was unnerving.

_Come what may_

_Come what may_

A week later the Seventh Years graduated and 'The Dream Team' went our separate ways. We vowed to keep in touch and Harry and I promised to go out every Friday night.

Harry and I never kept our promise though. He was killed a week after Graduation.

Voldemort was finally gone but so was Harry. Harry meant the world to me. He still does. But now I have more things to worry about. Actually two things to take away some of the pain I feel now.

As I sit here in the chair in my new flat I reminisce about my relationship with Harry and I think about how much he is going to miss. 

I never even got to tell him that he was going to be a father. So now as I sit here with Lily Moira Anne Potter and James Harold Edward Potter in my arms, I remember their father and I pray that he is with us.

"Come what may," I sigh and fall into a fitful sleep.

_I will love you until my dieing day._


End file.
